one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
