I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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