my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize