i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
