Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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