Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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