i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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