You smell like a Billy Joel song
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
