I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
