You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
