i just google imaged poop.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
