just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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