I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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