please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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