cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
