Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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