In America we eat man semen.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
