Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize