she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize