he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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