what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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