I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
