just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
