Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize