these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
