So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
