he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
