I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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