found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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