He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
