Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He? As in you personified your dick?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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