I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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