i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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