I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
vagina is talking i cant
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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