in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
