i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There's always time for handjobs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
