I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
