I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize