you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
