What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
