if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We have so much sex to catch up on
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
