FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
