OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How's work?
Spinning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
