I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't deserve a penis
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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