can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize