is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
