So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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