Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
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