you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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