farters have to be the big spoon...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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