he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
