Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
