So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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