PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
