Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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