she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
