I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
