I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
