1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
