all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
