Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We got so high we made milksteak
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
